∆ | The Book of You (your unfurling story)

∆ | The Book of You (your unfurling story)

“Imagine your life as if it were an autobiography”, I say. “As if every single moment—leading to this moment right now—was written down in this big, unfurling story of your life.”

This is not actually the case, of course. But it is a prime example of a useful delusion.

In this lesson we touch upon:—

  • Why it might be useful to think of our selves as like an unfurling fern; emergent and fractal.*

  • Why thinking of our life through a ‘story-like’ lens can help to identify recurring patterns or loops amidst the otherwise nebulosity of self.

  • How any story we have about ourselves and our lives is undoubtedly a form of narrative fallacy—our ongoing fabricated attempt to make sense of the world.

  • Why our self-concept is intermittently continuous, and how the narratives we weave for ourselves is perhaps more malleable than we might otherwise suspect.

  • How ‘constructive discontent’ can be used as means of framing new narratives for self-development.


* Notice how I say ‘selves’ here—this is intentional. The less we fixate upon a fixed, single, eternal, ‘true authentic self’—the more open we become to self-development. Gird yourself; there be dragons and daemons ahead. (◕‿◕✿)

/// Meta-narrator here. The goal here—if there is such a thing—is to move closer to a sense of coherence and congruence. To move closer to a semi-stable felt-sense of meaning, mattering, contribution, belonging and relevance.

None of these things are fixed destinations, though. We never truly ‘arrive’, and the landscape of life is a dynamic and fluid thing. There is a wisdom of insecurity to cultivate here.

Thus we cultivate a kind of fluidity in how we play this infinite game. We lesson our fixation of ‘self’, play more with the notion of ‘character’, and dance with the reality we find ourselves in. ///

To contemplate…

Some of us have a strong inner voice (or ‘narrating self’), wherein we clearly see ourselves as protagonists in life. For others, this sense is much more ethereal and ephemeral. Some of yet still may have no distinct sense of an ‘inner voice’ at all. In time, we will learn to loosen any ‘self-obsessed fixation’ we may have with this potentially hallucinated voice companion (and, further, we shall get better at deciphering pattern amidst the noise of our ego-chatter), but in the meantime: what is your experience of this? How do you relate to your ‘inner voice’?

Hoho, I was actually hoping to ease you into things, but already we are playing with some high-level metacognitive stuff. It won’t always be like this, I swear. Also, too, in time we will explore the activity of daily journalling as a means of sense-making. But for the meantime—enjoy the ride. This is a warmup for the extended activity to come.

Choose One Word

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Welcome

  • ∆ | A Quest Beckons34
  • ∆ | Pick a Path – find your word in 3 hours, 3 days or 3 weeks11
  • ‡ | Bonini’s Paradox & Useful Delusions (a primer)9
  • ‡ | Why Mid-life Crises Are Happening Sooner & More Often26

Part 1 | Self Knowledge

  • ∆ | The Book of You (your unfurling story)17
  • ✎ | The Book of You (worksheet)3
  • ◊ | The Book of You (an extended activity)7
  • ‡ | A Non-Narrative Approach to Life (with narrative)7
  • ∆ | The Chart of You (what makes for a meaningful life?)13
  • ✎ | The Chart of You (worksheet)5
  • ‡ | Patterns of Incongruence2
  • ∆ | Finding Your Fulfilment Factors3
  • ✎ | Fulfilment Factors (worksheet)4
  • ∆ | The Negative Path to Clarity & Fulfilment
  • ◊ | The Most Difficult Question—What Do You Want?4
  • ◊ | Self-Sabotage—Why We Get In Our Own Way1
  • ◊ | Procrastination—the Savviest Self-Sabotage4
  • ◊ Perfectionism—the Prettiest Self-Sabotage5
  • ◊ | Busyness—the Most Pernicious Self-Sabotage
  • ◊ | Overcommitment—the Noblest Self-Sabotage3
  • ◊ | Environmental—the Circumstantial Self-Sabotage
  • ◊ | Physiological—the Invisible Self-Sabotage3
  • ∆ | Finding Your Hidden Commitments (important)9
  • ∆ | Harvesting Dark Wisdom from Conflicting Values4
  • ◊ | You Are Not Broken —there’s nothing you need to ‘fix’2
  • ∆ | Only Now Are We Ready to begin to Choose One Word6

The Incredible Power of Journalling

  • ◊ | Cultivating Metacognition3
  • ◊ | Journaling for Insight2
  • ◊ | Flexing Introspection6

Part 2 | Self Development

  • ∆ | What is Self-Development and why bother?
  • ∆ | Embrace a Fluid Experimental Disposition2
  • ∆ | Why This Is A Yearly Ritual (+ when to start)2
  • ◊ | How to Deepen the Power of Rituals1
  • ✎ | Contextual Momentum Model.pdf
  • ‡ | “The Qualified Self” (& Advanced Reading)2
  • ∆ | “We understand how dangerous a mask can be.”2
  • ‡ | You Are What You Subsume (in-form yourself)2
  • ‡ | Beware the Notion of the ‘True Authentic Self’8
  • ∆ | The Pathway to Mundanity & Blandness5
  • ∆ | How to Cast a Longer Shadow5
  • ◊ | Revel in Ambiguity & the Infinite Game3
  • ∆ | Finding Your Root Word4
  • ✎ | Word Map.pdf
  • ◊ | A Linguistic Connoisseur (like Whisky)6
  • ‡ | Words are Power (Semiotic Evocations)2
  • ◊ | How to Expand Your Vocabulary2
  • ∆ | Making Meaning Memorable (socially sticky)2
  • ‡ | Cultivating Magical Realism2
  • ◊ | Abstract Words
  • ◊ | Active Words
  • ◊ | Aspect Words
  • ∆ | Archetype Words4
  • ‡ | The Many Words of Dr Fox (boring)8
  • ‡ | How to Subtly Test Your Word
  • ◊ | Blossoming Out Potentiality2
  • ∆ | Not Too Comfortable, Not Too Cool
  • ◊ | Choose Just One Word
  • ∆ | Flirt with Tension & Paradox8

Part 3 | Self Actualisation

  • ∆ | The Seasonality of this Annual Ritual
  • ∆ | Considering the Notion of ‘Purpose’
  • ∆ | Principles to Guide Decisions (NSFW!)4
  • ✎ | Word Principles.pdf
  • ∆ | Intentional Patterns of Behaviour
  • ◊ | Shaping Behaviour & Crafting Habit3
  • ‡ | How You Manifest in the Lives of Others
  • ∆ | Projects to Project2
  • ◊ | Bringing Lightness to Your Projects2
  • ∆ | How to Avoid Advice
  • ◊ | Enchant Yourself via Enclothed Cognition6
  • ∆ | Reconsult The Chart of You
  • ∆ | Return to The Book of You1
  • ◊ | Interview Your Future Self4
  • ◊ | Practice Ironic Self-Indulgence
  • ∆ | Remember: It Was Never About You15
  • § | What next?3

Appendix

  • The 20/21 Update—What’s New2
  • ◊ | A Reflective Overview-Preview4
  • How to Choose One Word in Less Than 3 Minutes2
  • (Why You Really Ought Invest More Than 3 Minutes)2